Anaphrodisia: The Enemy of Desire?

For many years, sexuality has been a taboo subject: “that is not spoken of”, “what a shame”, “my intimacy I say nothing”, among other expressions. There are people who choose what “part” of their intimacy to make known, others keep it in the depths of their secrets.

The truth is that there is a disorder that affects sexual desire and occurs especially in women: ‘anaphrodisia’ (also called frigidity or sexual anorexia). This is a disorder of the female world that consists of the chronic lack of interest in sex and the sexual act itself.

This situation can lead to great anguish and, therefore, resquemores in human relations and, obviously, sexual.

Anaphrodisia is related to dyspareunia (discomfort and disruption in intimacy) and sexual desire. According to professionals, it is common for a woman’s libido to change throughout her life and this would not be a disorder: “it will not be the same sexual desire from when she is young to when she is a mother, for example, Is that you lose interest, but your mind focuses on something else, “shares the psychologist Laura Giménez.

However, when this lack of desire becomes chronic if there are problems and bad moments: “so that when having sex, women can feel pain, therefore not enjoying the sexual act,” adds Sara Laguna Bonilla, Cognitive-behavioral psychologist.

A woman’s sexual desire goes through many “stages,” she may have elevated her libido as she may come down abruptly, “this is because emotional stress, as well as hormonal changes, affect that aspect of female sexuality,” she says. Giménez.

The call alert of this disorder is when the lack of sexual desire is added the anguish. “This sexual dysfunction is more common than is believed,” says Giménez.

It affects many women (1 in 10) and can occur at any age, which suggests that all – or the vast majority – of women have at some point been through this sexual dysfunction, although, “there are some who suffer In a chronic way, “adds the specialist.

This distressing situation, both for the woman who suffers it and for her partner, has its trigger in various causes (psychological or emotional); But, in spite of them, it can be treated adequately to not only give the reasons, but to improve the sexual life of the patient.

Some of the ways to alleviate this disorder have to do with “the techniques of sexual therapy, as well as the possibility of the person who suffers from facing the anxiety that generates the lack of desire,” says Laguna Bonilla, and continues. Because, many times, what happens with these people is that they anticipate the discomfort, the ailment or the impossibility of maintaining the sexual act “.

The interesting thing to note from this look is that, when we anticipate something, this ends up materializing in our reality. Therefore, “what you should do is work on those anticipatory thoughts of pain and focus on what you are doing,” adds Laguna Bonilla.

What the professional advises is to emphasize the so-called “mindfulness”, which is nothing more than “to be conscious in the present, in what is being done: to be attentive to the physical sensations so as not to give rise to the mind to That moves away from the instant that is lived and derive in those thoughts related to the pain and the discomfort, concludes the psychologist.

Let’s take into account that anaphrodisia may be associated with strong emotional and psychological factors that directly affect women generating anxiety, depression, stress and low self-esteem.

It can occur after sexual acts in which the experience of abuse was experienced. Also by problems never solved (or badly solved) in the pair, that provoke this significant diminution in the desire to maintain relations.

How do we become aware of the presence of this disorder? “Because you lose interest in sex and this situation generates a strong anguish,” says Giménez. And, as each woman experiences her sexuality in different ways, “we must take care not to fall into this diagnosis simply because we do not maintain relationships. Every case deserves professional support, “he adds.

If this situation is maintained in a chronic manner, “it is ended by avoiding all kinds of sexual contact. These are disorders that occur with pain during the sexual act and, mostly, are given by the lack of desire before an experience of anxiety, “says Laguna Bonilla.

And while the specialists can make a great contribution to this disorder, the truth is that it is important to reinforce women’s self-esteem, as well as helping the couple to feel confident and express without fear the concerns and needs that they have at the moment Of the love encounter, in order to respond to them in a conscious and “coupled” manner.